WHEN MERCY CAME RUNNING

I sit here listening to "When Mercy Came Running", by Phillips, Craig and Dean. The things that flash before my eyes, thoughts that whirl around in my mind. Where I once was, and where I am now and I well up inside. It is still so hard to believe sometimes how everything transpired. Wow. This song tells it all...I remember when all I could see was my sin, feel my shame and the pain, the piercing pain. It can and did actually bring about physical pain. I remember years of hurt and pain from everyday life and then some...divorce, then the death of a spouse that was a blessing from God, this was just two of several other devastating things in my life. My heart was so broken, the pain so severe, I remember telling God I had had enough...You see when I was born God gave me a very huge heart capable of loving and feeling in an enormous way...So I love to overflowing and I hurt to the depths of my soul when I hurt and I didn't want to feel that pain anymore.


I said, " God please take it away from me, take this heart and remove the ability to feel so deeply, to be able to love so deeply." They say be careful for what you ask because it was granted. Yes, all the years had left my heart torn apart, yes, I felt hopeless and very afraid, and yes not meaning to, I built not just walls but a fortress around my heart. I lived that way for quite some time. Distanced myself from everyone, including family and then I remember one night I cried, something I hadn't done in years, and I cried out and said "God I can't live like this anymore. I have too much love inside me to bury it, please God give me my heart back."

He looked at me with a smile so warm and gentle as He said, "Donna, I never got rid of it, I just put it on the shelf. I knew you could never live this way, You see, I knew you before you knew you! And yes, that night and a few times since, I felt the true meaning of Gods mercy! I remember that day so well, and I can only imagine someone being released from prison after years of incarceration and how it must feel. I knew about mercy and I knew I needed it, begged for it, cried out for it ,but I couldn't reach it. And there it came, running right past all my failures and went directly to my need. What a gift..my life has been one incredible journey. He has taken me to places I never imagined possible. And you know what...He paid all the expenses! He has renewed my spirit, I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and a new life! Thank you God!!